I have
never flown with an ultra low cost carrier, but Kayak informed me that the
cheapest way to get from Athens to London* is on Ryanair, so I booked a seat
on one of its flights. Whilst doing so, I was informed that the fee for carry-on luggage is USD 7.50 (yes, those F**KING US dollars again). If I want
to check baggage, Ryanair has 36 different checked baggage fees so I don’t have
any idea what it will cost, other than a generic F**KLOAD of money (so I decided
that I am going to travel very lightly, especially since Ryanair’s carry-on
baggage allowance is below industry standard**). If my carry-on bag exceeds the
maximum dimensions/weight allowable, that will cost me another £50. If I forget to check in online because
my brain has gone groggy from over-gorging in Greece, I will be charged £50. If I fail to print my boarding
pass before going to the airport, or if I lose it enroute, I will be required
to pay a Boarding Card
Reissue Fee (£60)***. And heaven help me if I didn’t spell my name correctly when I
booked the flight, or if I decide to change my moniker between now and
September 14: that will set me back £160 at the airport, or £115
if I do it online (aacckk!—I
really hope I don’t get fined for failing to have added my middle name to the booking,
since it appears on my passport; apparently oversights like booking as “Rob” instead
of “Robert” will bring down the wrath of Ryanair upon one's wallet). Oh, and if the plane is delayed for hours on end on the tarmac and I’m
dying of thirst, I’ll have to pay dearly to quench that too.
I wonder if there's a charge for using the bathroom on the plane? And if there's turbulence, do the flight attendants sell barf bags?
I wonder if there's a charge for using the bathroom on the plane? And if there's turbulence, do the flight attendants sell barf bags?
* Kayak previously
informed me that it would be cheaper to fly from Athens to any number of cities
in Europe, and from there to Toronto, than to purchase a Toronto-Athens round-trip
ticket. So hey, despite my whining about the cost of this voyage, I decided to
take advantage of the chance to spend some time in London. Of course--and
despite the fact that economics was the only subject that I came close to failing in
school--I do realize that the accommodation/food costs there will wipe out any
savings in terms of the flight costs, but hey, would you give up what amounts
to a “free” trip to London? (Although I am now seriously wondering whether my $200
Ryanair flight is going to end up costing more than my Toronto-Athens and
London-Toronto flights combined.)
** And even if one’s hand baggage does meet
the size requirements, the extortionist Ryanair staff might still charge for oversized carry-on if they think you're trying to game the system by using squishable luggage (https://www.tripsavvy.com/ryanair-baggage-allowance-4134912).
*** They can
also charge this fee if one’s printed boarding pass is deemed not up to snuff,
for reasons such as:
· Page is damaged
· Part of the page is missing. One must print everything, including the advertisement.
Holy crap. The state of air travel makes me nauseated and my grandfather, an airline mechanic from the dawn of commercial air travel, is turning in his grave.
ReplyDeleteI'm also suddenly feeling much better about my vacationless summer stretching ahead of me!
ReplyDeleteWhat Kim said. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI've never flown Ryan Air, and from what you've said, I never will. I've flown a competitor, Easyjet, which was perfectly fine, though my husband has declared he will never fly it again.
ReplyDeleteOn the bright side, what you've saved on your flight will help pay for your London stopover, and since Brexit, the pound isn't quite as exorbitant as it used to be. Though regardless, I always try to get a stopover in London if I can!
Wow. I'd heard bad things about Ryan Air, but this is horrible.
ReplyDeleteI have considered flying Wow Airlines to Europe via Iceland, but am concerned that, too, is as bad as Ryan Air.
Ditto Kim. All I can add to that is OMG.
ReplyDelete