December free-for-all (#6)

Dear Santa:

In May this year I went to FibreFest and spotted an adorably wee knitted dragon named Flytten. 

It—dragons are sexless, which makes for less discrimination in dragons’ dens and offices—was not for sale—dragons are firmly opposed to dragon trafficking—but I did buy a “knit a Flytten” kit (dragons do share humans’ love of consumerism). I decided a purple handknit dragon would be the perfect present for an artist friend who turned 70 (!!!!) in October, 2018. 

I was a wee bit dismayed when I opened the kit and discovered that giving birth to an adorable little Flytten required 10 pages of instructions. I laboured and laboured over techniques like magic loops and Kitchener stitches and obscure pronouncements like "graft snout closed." After having completed only two rows between May and August, I desperately tried to conjure up a dragon equivalent of the Immaculate Conception and an adept knitter named Mary to give birth to the damn thing. Alas, I was not successful and by the time October rolled around Flytten’s gestation had barely progressed, as can be seen by the ultrasound below. (And one might conclude from the fetus's alarming appearance that dragons are an abomination of nature, but the dragons who sold me the kit emphatically stated this is not the case... so emphatically in fact they singed my eyebrows.)

So dear Santa, please please please, all I want this year is time to knit purple dragons. (And $100,000 to pay for my basement renovation, but not at the expense of anyone’s death. And a firmer jawline.)

Thank you, and Merry Christmas,

Helen